Becoming modern at any cost

The whole of last week was dominated by the Prime Minister’s visit to the US, which I was trying to avoid. But the PM’s visit was witness to two major developments. The American President had found another way of countering the PM’s main diplomatic tool, which he shares with the Foreign Minister, of keeping alive their glorious Multani tradition of spitting while they speak. Sure, George Bush may have wasted a pair of perfectly good shoes, but he kept on talking to our PM about the sensitive agencies, or rather one in particular, and how it carried out those blasts in Kabul, and was busier working for Al-Qaeda than for the Americans. It is a known fact that when the name of that sensitive agency is taken, people of Seraiki origin (like the PM and FM) just dry up â€" literally. Probably because the name has become so fearsome that it causes the ordinary mouth to go dry, and more so the Seraiki mouth, which is designed for a particular mode of speech. That was perhaps the only reason why George Bush mentioned the ISI, but he didn’t save his shoes, because the PM had to maintain his ancient high traditions lest there be complaints back in Multan of him being spoilt into spittle-lessness by his absence.