The greatest secret of all

The most notable thing of the last week was something that we were supposed not to know about, the in-camera briefing on the War on Terror of Parliament. It was supposed to take place at a specially prepared bunker, and all members were supposed to tell all their constituents, not just their entire extended families, that they would get this secret briefing at this undisclosed location which the military had prepared, and would tell no one about, except those who would find out anyway, like the victors of 1971, and the Americans, the latter in case their Predator drones had any missiles left over from FATA. The Predators, and their operators, were probably ignorant that they had caused the briefing, but they did. For some reason, the briefings did not take place in secret, but as soon as they were over, the contents were carefully leaked, meaning that the in-camera sessions were not as in-camera as they were supposed to be. The only way those parliamentarians would keep a secret was if their party leaders told them to, which they didn’t, so the whole thing became a free-for-all, and military secrets became available to any of the enemies of the country with access to a parliamentarian. More relevant, they became available to that great enemy of simple straightforward precautions, the national press, which splurged the supposedly secret briefing all over their front pages. And will presumably go on doing so, so long as the briefing sessions continue. And why shouldn’t they? There’s competition, after all, which is why military secrets are being bandied about in public, both in the press and in Parliament. Once the military used to keep as much hidden as possible because India shouldn’t find out, but now that India are such good friends, the only better friends being the USA and Afghanistan, the only people from whom the secret must be kept must be Pakistani civilians.

And the real secret of the War on Terror was not revealed, if we are to believe opposition figures. There was no revelation of any deals that Gen (r) Pervez Musharraf is supposed to have made with the USA. Those making the objection probably know the answer, that those making the presentation know Pervez Musharraf not as a former President, but as a former COAS, and thus deserving of being saved any, the slightest, disgrace. It is already disgraceful enough that mere civilians should not only get briefed by serving officers, but should dare ask questions later, instead of being happy and just saying a quick thank-you amidst thunderous applause. How come mere civilians dare imply that they are not fully satisfied with the policy set after the most thorough consultations with the corps commanders?

The purpose of the War on Terror is to make sure that Rehman Malik’s parties keep on getting visas from the countries making up the ‘coalition of the willing’, no matter what kind of trousers and shoes they wear, and no matter how much their addresses lie within Harlem. For that, it was not necessary to have a briefing of mere civilians, but Yousuf Raza Gilani spat on both hands, and got down to it. But while the briefing was taking place, the missiles kept raining down on the tribal areas.