Parental favoritism: A slow poison for innocent souls

Each life is precious and each life matters!

The most sacred and trustworthy relation one generally assumes is a parents-kid relationship. They give birth to a child, then identity and then grooming. The kid is totally dependent on them until he attains maturity.

The responsibilities, efforts and sacrifices parents endure for their kid deserve respect and a kid can never ever pay off them. The dignity and honor of parents is the foremost thing to be respected. In our society, generally each family has more than two kids and in certain cases the number can exceed 10. Unfortunately, we have a male-dominant society where parents desire a baby boy and for that reason they don’t care if they have to produce at least six daughters. However, if they failed to give birth to a son even after producing a number of daughters, they adopt son from their relatives to fill the ‘gap’.

Well, it’s a separate debate. What happens when the son (real or adopted) becomes mature? How he treats his parents, what place they posses in his heart etc. Meanwhile, the daughters, who were completely neglected and deprived of basic necessities like education, care, respect and affection, got affected by inferiority complex which made them weak, vulnerable, and unconfident in their life.

This is the worst form of favoritism being practiced by the parents. We raise slogans against gender biasness, condemn gender discrimination, but deep inside we hypocrites want a son to carry forward our bloodline, to handle family business and to get ownership of family property.

Parental favoritism on the basis of gender is the most clear form of favoritism which can be spotted easily. But, this issue is not limited to this extent, things are much more deteriorated. It has been observed that in certain cases, generally the first-born is more important and loving for the parents. It’s not about gender, whether it’s a boy or a girl, parents treat their first child like their ‘prince/princess’ while neglecting or giving less attention to the younger ones. They provide best education to the elder one, fulfill his/her all desire and wishes no matter what they have to pay for it, arrange his/her marriage at an early age to celebrate his/her happiness. Even after getting married, the eldest child remains their most prized possession, no matter how disobedient or disrespectful he or she is.

Neither parents nor the eldest child could realize the miseries and sorrows of younger kids. Only the victims know how it feels to be neglected and considered less important. The real problem in this case is that kids were not aware of the favoritism till they reach 15. But as they grow older, each passing day hits them with the feeling of being neglected by their own parents. I can’t blame parents that they did this intentionally but the misery of younger kids is a reality too.

Many say favoritism is a natural phenomenon and every one considers someone as his or her favorite. Mostly the example of a teacher is given in this regard. Teachers have their favorite students, bosses have favorite employees. We all have a favorite hero or heroine, a favorite book, a favorite dish etc. But we must realize these all relations are not that much important as compared to parents-kid relation. A student can afford rejection from teacher and an employee from boss but its too hard for a kid to learn he is secondary to his parents.

Parenting is not a child’s play. Before getting married and producing kids, one must ensure that he or she is able for effective and efficient parenting. Each life is precious and each life matters. No one has the right to spoil an innocent life just because of his or her incapability.

If you are going to get married or expecting a baby then it’s a high time for you to ask yourself one simple question; “Am I able to maintain equality among my kids?” If you get a satisfactory answer then for sure you’ll become an ideal parent.

The writer is a former member of the staff.

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