“He was seriously a loser. The moment he told me we couldn’t take our relationship further, I felt as if my world ended and universe collapsed. Memories of the moments we spent together, laughter we shared, places we went to, wounds we healed of each other, couldn’t leave my mind. I couldn’t even imagine him or myself being with anybody else. I decided to leave it all once and for all. I decided to leave the world.”
Sidra seemed in a thoughtful mood while narrating her story to me.
“It was then when my best friend came to my rescue. She noticed what I had been through and continued being with me, telling me how good a person I was and how awesome I am to do good in life and get even better than what I have lost. Trust me, with time it got better”.
Sidra was undoubtedly lucky to have her best friend by her side who took her out from the depressing state of mind. But unfortunately many are not.
According to annual report by Edhi Foundation, 1,228 persons committed suicide in the year 2015 out of which 890 were men and 338 women. There are a lot more unreported suicide cases in rural areas.
According to Anwar Kazmi, a social worker at Edhi center:
“Many cases of women are not reported because it brings dishonor to their families. Not only this, women are taught to suffer in silence, only a few have the courage to fight back, rest take their lives”.
The alarming in increasing suicides reminded me of Saqiba’s case; a teenage student from Quetta who committed suicide after being rejected by school administration of her admission forms to be sent to Intermediate Board. Her family members said that before death, Saqiba would talk about taking her life, but they didn’t take it seriously. Unlike Sidra, Saqiba wasn’t given a gift of hope. Nobody listened to her.
Just a few days ago, 14-year-old Suleman committed suicide after the parents of the girl he loved, declined his marriage proposal because they thought he was too young to get married. The declined marriage proposal left him distraught and he decided to end his life.
In Multan, a father committed suicide after poisoning his four kids. He was unemployed and depressed; fending for his family became impossible for him.
In all the above cases, and many others, it is not money or not having the luxuries that becomes the reason behind taking one’s own life. The reason is hopelessness. When you lose hope you lose everything.
Professor at the Institute of Mind Sciences Dr Moiz sees the situation as very alarming. He says that suicidal thoughts without emotions are nothing, but when severe negative thoughts are coupled with heightened emotions, a person becomes hopeless. Again, he said that the first doctor is your family and friends – your loved ones.
“You are listened to and are shown affection towards. Your emotional stress is normalized in some time”.
The main reported reasons why people commit suicides are failed marriages, poverty, unemployment, emotional setbacks, domestic violence, emotional abuse, self pity and low self esteem. “Hopelessness is a reason less told and less reported”, says Dr Moiz. In my view, Saqiba could have been saved if her family took her seriously when she said she’d take her life. She could have been told that if she tried harder, she’d be able to make it very big. She could have been given hope. Suleman could have been told to hold on, study hard and get the love of his life.
Let’s face the truth; the system is not going to change overnight, society is not going to be perfect in seconds, bad governance is not going to turn into good governance, corruption can’t turn into honesty in days. So why not understand this, and give things some time? Come back to life with a fighting spirit to actually do something, pull off some wonders, and be an example.
The basic problem I feel, is not money no status and no fame. It is failed relations. It is loneliness that comes from not being able to share problems/thoughts with loved ones. It is lack of trust and faith that you’ll be listened to, will be helped. It is not being told by somebody special that things will change for the better, and that you too can play a part in bringing up a change.
Life is beautiful. Live it and love it.