Motherhood is an overwhelmingly beautiful feeling. From the day a girl conceives to the day she becomes a mother and every day after it, the journey is indeed a rollercoaster ride.
After becoming a mother myself, I have realised that in our society, people don't do the real talk. Just like many other important, worth discussing issues, "what to expect when expecting" remains unexplored too. Just like our mothers mentally prepare us for life after marriage, they must discuss the basics of motherhood too.
Being a young, new mom, i find it pertinent to discuss a few things which would help you if you are or know someone who is a new mommy or a mommy to be. Even if you aren't, it would help you to be empathetic towards others.
The 9 months of pregnancy should be enjoyed to the fullest. One must sleep as much as possible. Travel. Spend time with your partner, dress up and go out, meet your friends and do everything that you feel like doing as after you have your little one with you, your life would revolve around him/her only. During the initial months of your baby, from the moment you wake up, till the moment you sleep, it would all be about your baby.
Normal delivery doesn't mean that you have downloaded your baby from the internet. Like c-section, it's a complete procedure which requires you to take adequate rest, good diet and care in order to recover properly. It is however generally extremely over-rated.
Post-partum depression is real and people need to be educated on this topic. The 9 months of pregnancy and the process of labour will pass but the phase of you going through the physical and emotional healing would feel like as if you are stuck in a gyre and there's no way out. You will feel as if your world has taken a 360 degrees turn. Despite being physically weak and going through the recovery phase, you would still won't be able to sleep for more than 2 hours at a stretch. You would have to plan and schedule the most basic of tasks like eating, taking a shower, going to the loo, or even talking to someone on the phone, all according to your baby's routine. You won't be getting time to talk to your husband. You'll feel that you are the most lonely and worthless person in the entire world and no one cares about you. You'll be super emotional and cry without any reason. You would feel that life has become meaningless, and that you weren't ready for this change. You would feel that you have gotten distant from your husband and would want him around you at all times. You would want to scream your lungs out and would want to run away. No matter how absurd it sounds, but it's real and pretty much normal. Mommy blues very much exist and I am sure our mothers too have gone through it but maybe there wasn't much awareness at that time, resulting in them not paying much attention to it. Anyhow, the good part is, the mommy blues won't last forever. They would settle with time.
Every new mom must be educated on the topic of lactation. Every woman's experience of lactation differs from the other. People, including doctors will make you feel guilty over not exclusively breastfeeding your child and you may feel that you are failing at it. But, it's all normal. It is a natural process and would take time for you and your baby to get used to it.
Feeling paranoid over whether your baby is fine or not is also normal. You might end up checking up on your baby multiple times at night to make sure he is breathing fine. Your baby is your biggest strength and weakness at the same time so feeling emotionally weak when your baby is not feeling well is pretty much normal too and doesn't mean that you have failed to be a super mom.
There is no fixed time of bouncing back to normal. There is no harm in admitting that becoming a mother doesn't mean that you get wings or super powers. There is nothing wrong in taking help from your family as above all you are a human being. As soon as you feel fine, start pampering yourself. Love yourself and enjoy building a bond with your little human being.
Summing it all up, take one step at a time. Take as much time as you want to heal emotionally and physically as every pregnancy is different from one another and everyone's experiences varies.