Our Prime Minister’s life’s highlight was making a hard-hitting speech at the United Nations, but the Prime Minister of Dominica had a more basic issue to handle: his roof had been blown off his head. Yes, that could not happen in Islamabad, only in a West Indian island in the path of a hurricane. Imagine the roof being blown off PM House in Islamabad. The Secretary to PM would write a very powerful note to the Secretary Works, and the XEN in charge would be suspended.

Maybe the bureaucrats are hiding all over Dominica, but the bureaucrats in nearby Mexico are probably frozen in place, thanking their stars they’re still alive. The deaths in the second earthquake to hit the country in two weeks had reached 295. And this one hit the capital, that hive of bureaucrats, Mexico City. The silence over the roof of the presidential palace makes one think it is fairly safe to say that it probably survived.

Hurricanes, earthquakes… That’s nature at work (and it seems to be putting in overtime, with earthquakes also hitting Japan and New Zealand). But it seems that nurture is at work on another area, North Korea. In his speech to the United Nations, US President Donald Trump threatened to go to war with North Korea, and to throw out the nuclear deal with Iran. While Trump seems to be getting personal with North Korea, he seems to be leaving Iranian President Hassan Rouhani alone. He and North Korean President Kim Jong-Un have called each other mad. Still, Trump has not gone to the last limit, of saying anything about Kim’s hairstyle. Perhaps because he doesn’t want Kim snapping back something about his own coiffure. Especially since he has the only hairstyle that makes Kim’s look semi-decent.

Of course, with Shahid Khaqan Abbasi making speeches at the UN, his predecessor, Mian Nawaz Sharif, has no option but to invest in a gandasa, a long kurta and a fright-wig, now that he has failed to appear in an accountability court. Of course, like Gen (retd) Perez Musharraf, he doesn’t have the AFIC to certify him too sick to come to court. It’s funny how everyone has a hospital. Mian Nawaz may not have the AFIC, but he does have the Sharif Medical Complex, while Imran Khan has the Shaukat Khanum Hospital, Asif Zardari has the Benazir Bhutto Hospital in Islamabad. Did anyone point out that that was the Polyclinic, built by taxpayers’ money? Well, he’s not going to run for PM because of it, is he?

But because of the court’s orders, Finance Minister Ishaq Dar has also got to walk as if he is musclebound. He has been heard telling relatives that it’s a murder case he’s seeking bail. I mean, relatives get impressed by a murder charge, while assets concealment not only leaves them cold, but makes them ask for long explanations. No one asks to be made to understand what murder is. It’s too risky. So watch out for Ishaq Dar to smoke holding the (filterless) cigarette between his ring finger and pinkies, while puffing through a closed fist, getting rid of the ash with a snap of the fingers. Mian Nawaz will forego the fright-wig, having had a hair transplant.

NAB has decided to appeal the Hudaibia Mills reference in the Supreme Court. It could involve Mian Shehbaz Sharif. He is already in hot water with the Lahore High Court, which ordered that the report on the 2014 Model Town firing incident be given to the heirs. So his order for a long black kurta is only natural. Unlike US courts, our courts do not grant bail in murder cases if the accused is wearing a sharp double-breast with a snappy black fedora on his head. They prefer vast handlebar moustaches, a head cloth, a long black kurta, matching dhoti and dove-grey pumps. Mian Shehbaz is not just enjoying his freedom, but his last chance to wear double-breast suits on his visit to London, where he is going almost as soon as he came back.

Now, what with the law passed to let Mian Nawaz remain at the head of the PML(N), it seems that Mian Shehbaz should count himself lucky that he is still Punjab CM. Maybe he is right to try his fortune elsewhere. Will the next election see him PM? Well, the PML(N) needs to win the election.

While Mian Nawaz and Mian Shehbaz await the call to appear in the remake of Maula Jat, Aung San Suu Kyi was speaking in Naypyidaw, the Myanmarese capital, about the Rohingya crisis. It seems that she paid scant attention to the National Assembly resolution on the crisis, and also failed to blame the Myanmarese military. She seems to have laid the blame instead on the Rohingya for fleeing to Bangladesh. We should be more careful about the crisis, because both India and China are supporting the Myanmar government in the crisis. Our support for the Rohingya might upset Beijing.

And here we have General Musharraf still fixated over the murder of Benazir Bhutto, which he accuses Asif Zardari of doing. And he accused him of killing his sala Murtaza too. Is there an element of wish fulfillment there? No man in his right mind speaks too loud to his sala. And yes, once one has killed him, he must also do in his wife. But doesn’t General Musharraf remember the theory that Benazir committed suicide by hitting her head against the car window’s lever? And why didn’t he try Zardari then?