Finding spouse?

Be realistic! Neither you are Mr/Miss perfect nor do people think so

Marriage is a sacred relation in which a man and woman vow to spend their remaining life together. No one can deny that marriage is a name of ‘big responsibility’ and many consider it a ‘big risk’ especially if you are going for arrange-marriage. But this doesn’t mean if you choose love marriage you have averted this risk. In fact, in case of love marriage this haunting risk could be even higher.

Wait! This article is not intended to discourage marriages at all. While finding a perfect spouse one may came across several awkward situations. Some of the frequently happening situations and the ways to tackle these incidents are elaborated below.

If you have completed your education, doing a job and your elder siblings are married; be aware, any moment your relatives can strike your home with ‘rishta proposal’. Don’t get excited at this and don’t make yourself fool by assuming that people consider you an ideal spouse. Be realistic! Neither you are Mr/Miss perfect nor do people think so. But it doesn’t mean you have to reject that rishta right away. Take your time and evaluate the proposal under the guidance of your parents. Remember! In this particular stage evaluation of the above mentioned relative is vital too. As you know, “APNE Hi Girate Hain Nasheman Pe Bijliyan.”

Once your marriage proposals start emerging, your parents will kick start a full-fledged campaign to find a perfect spouse for you. In this phase your parents would show you several photographs and convince you to select one out of the given ‘options’. Again! Evaluation, my friend evaluation. Of course, parents always think in their child’s favour; moreover, they are more experienced than you. But your opinion matters a lot, after all you are the one whose life partner is being selected.

Many get married at this stage. Some are bit stubborn and not ready to compromise on their ‘list of requirements’, so they prefer to wait further. Parents found this stage alarming. They would start getting friendly with you in a bid to utilise their hidden interrogation skills to reveal whether you are interested in some one. At this phase you may came across multiple awkward questions. So, be prepared. Interestingly, there is a specific category of boys and girls who deliberately wait for this stage and these guys are really clever. I will call them good actors. When their parents approached them for asking about their interest, they behave like “Yeah, there’s a boy/girl in my office. He/she seems to be from a good family. I don’t know much about him/her.” So this way they make the things happened and remain the most innocent child of the family.

The only remaining segment left comprises people who are too ambitious. They always carry an un-ending list of requirements in their pocket and they have extra ordinary skills of rejecting marriage proposals. Such people are unpredictable. I can’t say when, where and how they will tie a knot. But it’s a fact that these people enjoy the status of ‘most ideal bachelor’ for a specific time period. Later, people express sympathy with them by saying, “BETA KOI BAT NAHI HAR KAM KA AIK WAQT TEH HOTA HAI.”

While passing through above discussed stages make sure you don’t cross 30 years of age. If you are between 25-30 and have financial and emotional stability then there could be no excuse to delaying a marriage.

The writer is a former member of the staff.

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