In the same ways that dislike, even racism and other prejudices thrive on ignorance, it is also true that many friendships, companionships and even marriages also may be based on ignorance, at least not thoroughly researched and Googled information, or statistics and other factual data. We are still in the holiday mood, and many have travelled to their hometowns and villages to celebrate Eid-ul-Azha, and many discover for the first-time pleasant connections with relatives and friends. The young generation has grown and those who were just children last year have now turned into independent and reflected youngsters and those who have gotten on in age are not any longer as fears as they used to be, having less power and less say over others, even over themselves.
I am getting on in age myself, and one thing I have discovered in myself and others my age is that we can still develop new friendships and relationships, with young and old, and also with people that we earlier thought quite unlikely. I have a new friend now who is well into his eighties. He is as alert and interested in the world around us as ever. If we all continue like that for the remainder of the days, we will stay healthier and happier—to the envy of those who are more calculating about whom they associate with.
Today, I shall tell a story about an old Jewish man, about 70 years, in Upstate New York who through a coincidence becomes an important person to a black boy of 9 or 10 from the poor Harlem downtown quarters of New York City. The seemingly simple story, yet deep, is from a TV movie from 1970, entitled ‘A Storm in Summer’, with Peter Falk as the old Jewish shop owner, Abel Shaddick, and Aaron Meek as the young African American boy, Herman D. Washington. The story is set in the late 1960s at a time when it was common in the big cities in North America and Europe for charity organizations and city councils to sponsor country-side holidays for poor city children, who would otherwise not have the chance to travel, often living with a single mother or grandmother in a crowded city. The African American boy in the film stays with his grandmother in New York City. He has a brother, Denis, who is about 20 serving as a soldier in the Vietnam War. The elder brother is Herman’s hero in life.
The reason why the young black boy ends up with the old Jew is that the Mr Shaddick’s nephew meets a girl working for the charity looking for holiday homes, and he wants to impress her, so he offers to take a boy for a few weeks, concerned about the boy getting fresh air, a chance to go fishing and for swims in the lake. The quiet irresponsible young man forgets to tell his uncle about the boy coming and he makes himself scared, too. But suddenly, the boy is at Mr Shaddick’s door in the combined delicatessen shop and residence.
When the boy arrives, Mr Shaddick is not at all keen on taking him in, but he soon changes his mind, well, in spite of the quite rough language on his part, and on the part of the boy’s streetwise New York language. But already the first afternoon, Mr Shaddick locks up his delicatessen shop and goes fishing with the boy, something the boy has never done in his life and Mr Shaddick hasn’t done in 25 years since his son died in WWII. In the evening, the new friends go to the movies, and the next day to a club with a swimming pool. Alas, this is America in the 1960s, at the time of the Civil Rights Movement, the boy and the old Jew experience racism even in the small town, both in the streets and in the prejudiced upper-middle-class town.
Mr. Shaddick is a widower and in many ways, a bitter man, having lost his only son in a plane crash over Stuttgart in Nazi Germany during WWII. Yet, every day, he looks at the framed photo of his son on the wall, still missing him, and still remembering the devastating telegram when the message came. He tells Herman that they are more like than they know and perhaps would like to think and he predicts they will soon become indispensable to each other, especially the boy to the old man, who would not quite know what to do with himself when the boy returns home after the summer holidays.
But Herman’s stay is cut short by a phone call from the boy’s grandmother in New York, and Mr Shaddick has to convey the terrible message to the boy that his elder brother has died in the Vietnam War. The person who feels deepest about the situation is Mr Shaddick, and he can relate to Herman in a special way since he has himself, 25 years ago, experienced a similar terrible message about the death of his only son. The local community shows their support for the boy – and the old Jew – as they bid farewell to each other and the boy is sent back to New York in a taxi.
The short summer holiday changes the life of Mr Shaddick and Herman. The Jew’s nephew is welcome to stay with his uncle, but not in the room downstairs in the house at the back of the shop, but he can stay upstairs. The downstairs room will from now on always be there for Herman so that he can come back any time he wants. After all, the two have become indispensable to each other. But life must go on, and new friendships and new love must be established, as we cannot live in the past. I believe the boy teaches the old man something about that—when the storm and rain in summer leave them. Thanks to the boy, Mr Shaddick finally becomes able to move on, as we all must do after devastations and challenges. Perhaps children and young people are better at doing that.
I believe many have experienced positive situations over the Eid holidays, yes, even this year when there are economic hardships and price increases, less money to buy goat meat and beef, new clothes, and other things that we think are important, but not important. After all, the most important things remain friendships, relationships and companionships. And then let us remember the morale in the move, that we must always watch out for racism, class and gender discrimination, and other such differences that we human beings seem to be unable to get rid of, be it in America, Europe, Asia or elsewhere. But Mr Shaddick and Herman could become friends in the course of a few days. We should all be able to see beyond the superficial differences between people. Differences are valuable and they enrich our lives if we open our hearts, making the most unlikely people become friends, even indispensable to each other. Again, Eid Mubarak, and may the spirit live throughout the year.